Le Tour Dispatch: Stage 13

Ask cycling fans what they want from a bike race, what are the ingredients that ultimately deliver the best experience of a day spent in front of the television watching the sport they love, and you will receive a variety of answers. Two recurring themes will rise to the top of list again and again, though: echelons, and a big breakaway versus bunch battle. These are some of the factors that keep us guessing, and that make for truly entertaining racing. And today, we had multiples of both.

Things we don’t want from a bike race are sick and injured riders but sadly, with each passing day, a Tour that began with a relatively low attrition rate by comparison to previous years has picked up speed in its ruthless pursuit, and after three more riders left yesterday after they finished outside the time limit (Rickaert and Kragh from Alpecin and Federov from Astana) the worst possible news landed this morning regarding Primož Roglič, who was forced to abandon following the injuries he sustained in yesterday’s late crash.

Roglič and the Tour de France, it seems, are destined never to resolve their irrevocable differences: call it bad luck, fate, or a curse, whatever it is, it doesn't want these two parties to ever enjoy a happy union. So Roglič will return to the race that appreciates him for who he really is, La Vuelta, and leave that fickle mistress Le Tour behind once again.  

Jesus Herrada was also a DNS, catching the Cofidis illness that already saw two more of his teammates depart the race, and it was not long into today’s stage that Juan Ayuso too threw in the towel, apparently having tested positive for covid before the stage.

The action kicked off immediately with the breakaway formation phase of the day impacted by the insistent crosswinds that would be a feature throughout the stage, a huge group getting away in spite of the wind and almost being blown off the road at one point. There was a lot of quality in the group and plenty of guys who can handle themselves in a stiff breeze, and they were made of sterner stuff and managed to get a gap.

The roads undulated like some kind of crazy rollercoaster and we remembered why this bit of France is always so much fun at the Tour. Meanwhile in the bunch, Wout van Aert decided that echelon business looked like fun so he forced a split along with a merry band of Visma pals, and they took the yellow and white jerseys along for the ride, resulting in a second breakaway group containing the GC top 3 and a select few friends stuck in the middle between leaders and bunch and making very little headway.

It turned out to be an ill-advised move and was eventually reabsorbed, but Visma’s work was still not done as there was a thorn among the roses at the front of the race: Adam Yates. Ah yes, on stage 11 UAE wouldn’t let the break go, and today they managed to kill the break even when they weren’t pulling in the bunch. Yates’ presence in the group was ultimately its doom, as the GC teams would not let a rider of his calibre have any space, and his breakaway colleagues must have all tried to have a word with the Lancastrian and persuade him gently (or not so gently) to head back to the bunch.

The stage, simply put, was a constantly evolving situation, and there was not a moment’s rest. It wasn’t frantic in the same way the gravel stage was, but it had a relentless grind to it that strung the tension out all day. Eventually Magnus Cort took matters into his own hands and departed the lead group, to form a break within a break with three worthy colleagues and ultimately, with Yates still refusing to back down in the larger second group, the day was done for the rest.

Another vicious crosswind section further up the road caused yet more splits, this time the yellow jersey group contained the top 3 again, but included Carlos Rodriguez – they rode so hard they threatened to catch the break, and a group were caught out behind the second split, including Mark Cavendish and Mathieu van der Poel, and they were only ever going backwards from that point on.

The yellow jersey group and second peloton were finally reunited just in time for the first of two late categorised climbs and the race exploded yet again, with a duo of Richard Carapaz and Tobias Johannessen making their bid for glory and gaining almost 40 seconds advantage at one point, as the high tempo saw other sprinters detached from the bunch, including Dylan Groenewegen and Danny van Poppel.

The pair were caught, and with plenty of sprinters remaining in the group it looked as if it would finally settle for a bunch finish, until the irrepressible Jasper Stuyven launched an attack, and two more came across to him. The peloton were hot on their heels but with 10km remaining and zero control over the race, it seemed that anyone who had the legs and the will could be in with a chance of winning the stage.

Even Tadej had a whiff of glory, as he pushed on with the sprinters long after the 5km mark where he could quite happily have punched out for the day, and whether he had the idea to try and gain some time, forgetting that times were fixed at the 5km mark or whether he just fancied a crack at a bunch sprint is unclear, but it could have gone very wrong for the race leader, a big crash in the final couple of hundred metres proving why the rule exists in the first place and giving a fair few riders a few bruises. At the front Wout van Aert tried once again to make his mark on this race but found himself once again thwarted – entirely fairly this time – by the superior legs of Jasper Philipsen, who became only the second rider at this Tour de France to take more than one stage win.

At the end of the day, aside from the slight anomaly of the race leader in the top ten, and the presence of a few names we don’t normally see up there, and the absence of a few others, you’d be forgiven for thinking the day played out exactly like a regular flat stage, if you were to simply glance at the results. The secrets hidden beyond the results list are exactly why we watch stages like today’s, even after struggling through a few less interesting flat stages. The headlines may read ‘UAE kills breakaway’s chances, Philipsen wins bunch sprint’ but those of us who were lucky enough to be able to enjoy the full stage in all it glory were treated to a whole lot more than just the superficial outcomes – the layers of the metaphorical onion beneath revealed hidden depths that belong in the pages of this year’s Tour de France Greatest Hits.

FEATURE: Welcome to the Weekend: 3rd time (un)lucky!

Dans Mon Bidon - by Stine Momo Agerbæk

I spent most of yesterday’s stage pondering on what to serve as drinks for this weekend…And then Roglič was hit by what can only be described as his persistent TDF curse. Again. So this weekend’s special promo drink is dedicated to the staff and riders of RedBull-BORA-hansgrohe. And yep, this bartender is about as subtle as their new kit… so, not at all, and the bar is running half price on Jägerbombs.

Take a glass of the newest energy drink team sponsor. Take a shot of the classic German bittersweet Jägermeister (as dark as certain riders’ mood would be this morning). Either mix - or to keep the competitive spirit alive, dump the shot into the RedBull glass, slam it down, and on to the next drink/stage/race… And no, drowning your sorrows is not exactly psychologically sound advice, but by gods, sometimes it’s needed. Cheers boys. Hope the rest of the team can make something great of their time in France for the rest of the race.

Alternatively, this weekend’s bar menu features a preview of the upcoming GC battle in the form of several hard liquor shots that are all on fire. ALL of them are on fire. We advise drinkers and riders, who cherish their facial hair (looking at you Jonas and your Cort-inspired moustache) or their signature tufts (Pog & co, please pay attention!), to proceed with caution here. But we all know you won’t!

If I have to, I prefer the classic sambuca + coffee bean version of a fiery shot myself, though it’s a habit I generally have left in the past. But to make one, grab a wide-ish shot glass (no plastic, it’ll melt), add 3 coffee beans to the surface (use a nice fragrant espresso version if you got it), light it on fire (watch your fingers!) and let it burn for a minute or so, to release the taste and scent from the beans. Extinguish by placing the bottom of a bigger glass over the shot glass, killing the flames.DO NOT try to be cool and do it with your hand. It can lead to the rest of the evening being spent nursing a painful burn if you’re unlucky. For everyone else - and actually for the alcohol consuming adults in the audience too - this weekend’s mountains and next week’s toasty weather report all calls for some serious hydration. Drink water! It can be sparkly if you like that. You can make it fancy with some fruit or ice. You can even make some ice tea of the tisanes France is also famous for (I’m currently on a mint & lemon balm kick myself), or buy some fancy French mineral water. No matter what, drink up and don’t dehydrate!

Alors En Danse - by DJ Momo

Hold onto your hats and dancing shoes folks, this is gonna be a Stage 9 style bumpy ride, okay?

This playlist is as long as some of the stages this week (some were legit long, others just felt like it…) and it is, like this last week’s worth of racing, very much A Tale of Two Tempos.

Some stages were so soothing and zen that a nap almost felt obligatory, and some… some required me to pull out my entire arsenal of retro vibing soundtrack anthem greatest hits. And then some. I stuck to making both the 102-110bpm and the 144-170bpm sections of this mix pretty damn danceable, so if you want meditation music to reflect the calm of certain sprint stages, I’m afraid I can’t help you right now. If you’re however looking for anthems to reflect testy defiance, trigger-happy pew-pew racing, tactical turn tiffs, and lots and lots of battles on the road, I’m very much your DJ. There’s mostly just vibes; I can actually give you reasons for most of the tracks (though some are just there purely because they felt right at the time of making this), but then you’d still be sitting here tomorrow when the stage hits zenith, and that feels counterproductive, so I’ll just give you a few hints and fun chorus bits here. They all reflect stuff that made me giggle, yell, cheer or hope during the last week of racing or some hopes for the last long week of racing left:

• I need Remco to sing “We can race if we want to, we can leave your team/friends behind…” to Jonas at the afterparty in Nice.
• All Pogačar's promises of showing Self Control flew out the window the moment he lined up on the start line next to Vingegaard it seems.
• Jonas shaking off the memories of his Itzulia crash had me in tears, humming Florence + The Machine’s triumphant anthem to resilience. And his response to the sassy remarks from Remco and Tadej had me dancing to Taylor Swift. Yes, I’m basic, get over it.
• If I could, I’d take back all the road furniture that hurt Roglič, and he’d stay… right?
• That one gravel section that made Kate Bush the only accurate choice.
• I need Wout van Aert to win a stage in this race. He’s been so close now and it feels like the perfect turning point after two really tough seasons for him. This is where Wout’s love for Bruce Springsteen provides the perfect theme tune.
• This race has really been a race for the smaller teams, The Mis-Shapes as Jarvis Cocker would sing… And I, for one, applaud it.
• The amount of times the commentators have compared the GC top’s racing to junior races is enough to merit some classic skate punk.
• Next week’s weather forecast in southern France generally sits firmly in the “Heat” area of the thermometer and maybe those famous racing balls may indeed catch fire?
• And to close the festivities you all get to bop along with me to the fictional 80's hit from the endearing Irish musical movie Sing Street. After hearing Jonas Vingegaard detail his fears of dying in that blasted Basque crash and explain how it has made him less stressed about the results and far more appreciative of just being able to ride and race again, I haven’t been able to get this song out of my head.

It’s a reminder to live life while you have it - with a reminder to “drive it like you stole it”. Enjoy!

Stage 14: Pau - Saint-Lary-Soulan Pla d’Adet

About tomorrow...

1-1-1 Things of the Tour de France

by Mathieu Fraisse

one food, one fact and one local rider, for every place on edition 111 of Le Tour

1 food: Garbure Béarnaise

It is a traditional stew made with cabbage and confit d'oie (also a traditional food from southwest of France).

In the modern recipe, ham, cheese, vegetables and stale bread are also thrown in the pot.

Like many traditional French foods, it is not advised in a low carb diet 😛 it is delicious though! Just don't eat it before riding tomorrow's stage 🥵

1 rider: Nicolas Portal

Today's stage crossed the Gers roads and tomorrow's stage will also come close from Nicolas Portal birthplace.

A small tribute to former French rider and successful Team Sky directeur sportif. Winning 8 Grand Tours with the great Team Sky, including six Tours de France with Froome, Thomas and Bernal.

He was only 33 years old when he won his first Grand Tour as a DS, making him one of the youngest to achieve such a feat.

Nicolas Portal sadly passed away four years ago in Andorra but his legacy still lives in the peloton.

1 fact: Wanna play boule’n’bike?

In Asté, near Bagnères de Bigorre, a group of friends loved playing pétanque but they also loved riding their bikes. So they decided to mix them together!

Boule’n’bike uses the same play style as biathlon, only with teams of three. Contestants ride their bikes for 1.8 kilometres then stop to play pétanque (well not a full match but they have to aim precisely), then they “pass the baton” to their teammate who does the same circuit.

Each boule missed is a penalty lap, so you'd better be precise! 

If you're down for a slice of fun in the beautiful landscapes of Pyrénées then sign up for the next edition in June 2025!

STAGE PREVIEW

Look, we all know what will PROBABLY happen tomorrow, don't we? I think we can all agree that as the race moves onto the long climbs of the Pyrenees, Jonas Vingegaard would PROBABLY like to attack Tadej Pogačar, put time into him (or at least, gain back the deficit) and storm onto a beautiful solo victory.

Yes, that is what would have happened in 2023. But this year's race is a different proposition. It's backloaded with mountain stages, Giro-style, so cumulative fatigue is going to be an issue for all the riders - Pogi, with a Giro in his legs, Jonas, not knowing what his form is like with this much race still remaining - yes, he's certainly in good form - but how good?

And the loose cannon here, Remco Evenepoel, who may want to try and prove a point. Or equally, may understandably simply want to sit behind the two double-Tour winners and see how he gets on. There's a whole raft of climbing in the next ten days and if we were being sensible GC leaders, we would ride within ourselves tomorrow, let the breakaway have their fun, and probably only really race up the final couple of kilometres of the climb.

But 'sensible' isn't a word that really applies to this current generation of racers, and each of the top three will want to prove a point to the others - in short what I'm saying is, I've got no idea at all how tomorrow will play out, but all I know is it will be wonderful to see our old friend the Col du Tourmalet, the first of two huge hors categorie challenges, the second being a summit finish on the Pla d'Adet. It should be one to remember... even if it's not one I can accurately predict.

Before you go...

You know that bit of the Tour when you forget what day it is and where we are are who you are and Romain Bardet having the yellow jersey feels like 3 million years ago? Matteo Jorgenson is all of us.

Until tomorrow, au revoir!